State of State of the Arches

Hello friends and fans. Hello Archies, Archers and Arch-heads. As I’m writing, the time is approaching 10:30 AM, the official end time of McDonald’s breakfast. Rest assured, this is no accident. It’s been a year since I have done any reporting here at State of the Arches HQ, but at no time in the year were you not on my mind.

Since I started State of the Arches back in 2011, we have seen some changes in the landscape of McJournalism. There was the Huffington Post article, there was a Tumblr, and even a Youtube channel. These were all dollar menu attempts to convey the kind of content that you get at State of the Arches. They are copies of the original. Monopoly stickers on your soft drink—not the ones that you need, but the ones you already have. Do you think that HuffPo knows about the 50 Piece McNugget? Do you think these Tumblrs know about walk-thru windows at airports? Will Youtube report on Hawaiian menu specialty items? Absolutely not. That kind of content is only found at State of the Arches.

And so it is via a lack of honest journalism on this topic that I am so passionate about that I return to the field. Because Arch-heads deserve better. Thank you for your continued support. Consider this your coupon book. Please enjoy a couple of April Fool’s Day themed posts following the break.

Montebello, CA

I finally caved in. I broke my 4 year abstinence from McDonald's today. There was something about those sexy, sparkling golden arches today that tempted me to pull inside the drive through as I was on the way home from work. My co-workers would make fun of me and my strange (and as I've learned today, a pretty damn irrational) don't-eat-anything-from-McDonalds mentality. But, today, several of them just had to buy those damn chicken nuggets, Filet o fish, golden crispy fries, and an apple pie. The smell permeated the whole office and my mouth instantly salivated. Of course, I had to keep a calm exterior when they presented me the food in front of my face. "No, thank you, " I politely told them as I showed them that I'd be happy with my Maruchan instant teriyaki yakisoba box. But, I was dying inside. I couldn't wait to come back to my 'hood, where no one could see me indulge in my childhood favorites. I got a Filet o Fish, medium fries, and a small strawberry shake and I hurried back home to indulge in privacy, just in case any of my co-workers followed me. I took my first bite of the fish fillet and it was like being a virgin all over again to McDonald's. Why did I give up something that was oh so good?!?! I must be nuts because McDonald's fish fillet is tehh sexxx. Mayo smothered all over that fish fillet in between those two soft buns...it was sooo mmm mmm good. If that's not sexy, I don't know what is! It was just like a crispy fish in a fish taco...only it's in a bun. And it's better! The medium fries were just like I remembered. Nice, crunchy. Brings back old memories. The shake wasn't that bad too. This place is near the Y, so just in case you want to indulge yourself after working out to make up for the pounds you lost, this _is_ the spot. Take my word for it....! ..actually, don't. This was written on April Fool's Day, so you shouldn't. But, I'm still abstinent from McDonald's 4 years and counting...now that's no April Fool's joke.

San Diego, CA

Ok, this is after all McDonalds - fried, cheap, fast food and questionable ingredients. I swear if it was not for the smurfs; I would not set foot in this place. However, I did and well...It was yucky. Dirty, tables, cashier had an attitude when I inquired about a happy meal toy. I kept thinking to myself: "Yes, I am in my 30's and about to order a happy meal - get over it, its thanks to fools like me, YOU have this minimum wage job." Cashier gave little eye contact after rolling them upon me asking if PAPA SMURF was in yet. Oh come on, papa smurf!!! Anyway, I got my greasy chicken nuggets and greasy fries and a grumpy smurf to go with the employee's demeanor but no papa smurf. The tables were dirty, the floor had scuff marks all over it. It seems homeless people raise shopping carts inside this McDonalds, where the hell are the scuff marks coming from? eew. Tiny parking lot and those who let children in that filthy play area should be questioned by CPS. *The End*

Edgewater, MD

It's a McDonald's, need I say more?

There is a drive-thru, go thru get food, feed your-self with some over processed food that's made to feed people with little to no interest in their food choices. The food is mass proceeded so a teenager or someone with no education can prepare it perfectly every time.

What did you expect, Ruth's Chris?

No.

It's McDonald's.

Stop being elitists, about fast food, fools. 3-stars because I am sick of these incompetent reviews about how a fast-food place operates and their services my peers receive. Get real, lower your expectations when your food slumming.

Dummies, get real, it's a mass corporation, be real when you review.

San Diego, CA

Um, I know this is a "fancy" McDonald's and all (in fact, a self-entitled "Bistro"--it's ok to start laughing now), and the seating area is decked out to kind of look like a Marie Callender's or something.  So, yes, it's half a step up from the standard restaurants in the chain.

But the counter jockeys are the same clueless and rude idiots you find at any other McDonald's and, frankly, the customers are pretty much the same fools you find elsewhere, too.

They serve all the same tasteless gray meat goodness you get at the other locations but the separate "Bistro" counter offers up spruced-up salads and paninis and what have you.  I haven't tried any of those foods, and I'm not going to try them, so I'll leave it to others to review.  It is amusing that they created a separate counter if you would like to order the "fancier" foods.  One counter for po' folks and one for rich folks?

Let's just not all wet ourselves over this or any other McDonald's, ok?  They serve gray beef.  That's all I need to know.

Flushing, NY

 
This is a very unorganized understaffed and small McDonald's. I had to wait 15 minutes for a big breakfast. And they didn't even have scrambled eggs and they had to substitute egg from a McMuffin into the big breakfast

Flushing, NY

I don't like rating fast food chains because they are basically unhealthy, boring, repetitive, and low-quality food. Basic service (nor friendly nor rude), plenty of seatings and the crowd was like 90% Asian (yeah I know it's Flushing DUH!!) people in their mid 40-50s. I'm guessing they came here for coffee after church service or something. The only reason I came here was because there weren't any space left to accomodate 5 of us in the Paris Baguette located at the strip mall just across this place. Other than that, meh~ boring

Flushing, NY

It is run by kids. These kids are quite good! Yes, they do get overwhelmed during peak hours but it isn't too bad at all! Listen, there are old Asian folk who pay with sometimes thirteen pennies. I'm not kidding, there will be thirteen pennies to count out. Of course that would slow things down.

Austin, TX

On the way to the March Against Hate yesterday, my friend Brian and I realized we were starving balls. There was no particular reason we stopped at this McDonald's other than that it was on the way. And I was craving--simply craving--some McNuggets.

It took 20 minutes to finally get to the window. We spent that time bitching at everyone ahead of us to place their order already and move along. "It's not a complicated menu!" "You should already know what you want!" "Oh my God, what is wrong with you people?!"

And I love that once it was our turn, my friend said "Uhhh...Give me a sec." Hypocrite!

I leaned over and said in my best Mira Sorvino: "Do you have a businesswomen's special?
Employee: A what?
Me: You know, like a lunch....for businesswomen?
And right on cue Brian says:
"We're due in Tucson. You know, for a business thing."
Employee: Huh?
Me: Can we just get a No. 1 with a Diet Coke and a 10-piece nugget to go then?

OK, so we had our giggles and we were probably way more amused with that than we should have been.

The employee at the window didn't look a day over 13, and he promptly handed me a Happy Meal Diet Coke. I know I've been using a new anti-aging cream but does it look like I'm old enough to want a Happy Meal? He also couldn't seem to master the skill of putting Diet Coke in a cup. I think the machine was malfunctioning. His manager came over to help and she smiled politely.

We finally got our food and I devoured it in the car. I suppose Big Macs and McNuggets can sometimes only truly be appreciated during a massive hangover. I'm lovin' it.

Austin, TX

Okay.  I know it's silly to review McDonald's.  I mean, it's McDonald's.  You feel how you feel about it. Period.  I know I won't change your mind.  But here I am anyway.  (Feeling a little like Breckin Meyer in Clueless, though.)

I stop in here for breakfast all the time.  At least once a week.  These guys always get my order right.  Always.  I always get my extra jelly.  When I ask for eight sugars in my coffee, no one laughs.  No one.  And they are unfailing polite and smiley.

It's a nice thing in the morning.  OJ, bottle of water, coffee or coke, and a sausage biscuit. It's a simple thing, but a nice thing.  These guys always make sure this "nice thing" stays nice.  Thanks, McDonald's.